A significant share of Americans (44%) say they personally know someone who has been shot, either accidentally or intentionally. Now, of course, its diminished if the person throws the phrase around too casually to colleagues, all family members, etc., but if they are a genuine and caring person, then I believe it shows a deeper connection. To say you're proud of someone is to say that you can relate to them and, if in their shoes, you would be proud of the accomplishment. Set realistic goals. 16. Its very presumptuous. Before you bring your GF home, know- How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, now. I had an experience where a friend, who I consider in every way my equal, noticed that I made a healthy food choice (not that I didnt before, but I think its the first time he noticed) and he said, Oh Im so proud of you!. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre also taking advantage of the power of positive reinforcement. If youre proud of me, buy me a pizza, then. Oh.. very good. 2. I am livid because a couple of arrogant, condescending people who had been known briefly, posted, We are so proud and impressed, on a stinking FB page, I do not use FB, etc. You haven't said who is speaking to whom. It can also help to show appreciation to others and can help to create stronger relationships. Maybe some people act in a way that makes you upset they're doing that on behalf of your country, but you just remember that's not the reason you're proud to be from where you are. Encouraging children and others to be proud of themselves is healthier. Our children need to know that we believe in them, that we trust them, that we support them, that we love them, that we acknowledge them as individuals separate from us. They are much more aware and can see through false motivation easily. In these instances, simply saying "Wow" (and meaning it) will let them know you're proud. And as it was your friends achievement, oughtnt she be the one who feels proud? Yes, I'm sure you've come across "me too" in such situations, but it's very often ambiguous, or sounds arrogant. 12. Well done!. For me, this was a huge take-away moment. Were brothers, dont you forget that! Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. http://pbskids.org/rogers/songLyricsImProudOfYou.html. Try either "I'm happy for you!" or, what I find more accurate, "You bring me joy." "You bring me joy," communicates the sentiment nicely. Often the 'I'm proud of you' I get from strangers includes an unwanted and inappropriate familiarity, a hug a bit too long or a bit too hard, a knowing look and more emphasis on the 'I' than the 'you' in the 'I . First, he is probably higher status / higher power. 4. A: It's not necessarily wrong to take pride in our work, of course; if we don't, our work will probably end up sloppy or incomplete. 1. I may never know but you can simply ask him if you question the genuineness in his response. She and I are both married. You know that I'm bound to see you. What, do you really? All rights reserved. 1. To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. For going back to work when Im still hardly sleeping, due to having an 8 week old at home? True - the parent might have spent hours helping the child get their homework done or even completing the childs assignment. They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. Make sure to take the time to think about how you want to respond. relationship advice marriage advice Women love advice. Dear! Why is this such a contentious phrase? But only emotionally intelligent people understand why. Maybe Im mad, because it makes me feel like he thinks I wasnt doing enough before I started back at work- like carrying children inside of my body for nearly two years, plus birthing them, plus never sleeping, plus cleaning for HOURS upon HOURS everyday, plus cooking, plus plus plus wasnt enough to be proud of. B Blue Apple Senior Member I was damned proud of her for overcoming this setback and told her so. I dont know that you provided a litmus test, but the article acted as such for me. I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything in the world. And, that nearest person could be your parents, partner, or friends. 1. Id have fallen over from shock if I ever heard it from anyone in my family (& still would!). (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). 1. She texted back that I make her smile and that shes proud of me. She said yes and then she said she wanted to go with me. But this seems less common. 11. Tell me something else, Ive heard this at home. And, here are the respectful replies to respond with: 1. Im happy that youre with me in good and bad times. Now, John may hear "I'm disappointed that this is the same picture. So happy for us! Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . Larissa Dann, a veteran trainer of Parent Effectiveness Training in Australia, suggests that we stop saying "I am proud of you," and start saying, "I am proud for you." 1 It is a subtle shift from the accomplishment being about the parent to the accomplishment being about the child. This is a very interesting discussion for me. The Four Words That Can Protect Your Child's Mental Health, Parenting Behaviours Linked to Suicide Amongst Adolescents, How to let your children know you are proud of them (Very Well Family), First published 28th August, 2014. Plus, they also express how proud they are, when you do something special for them. Refresher workshop for P.E.T. How many people in your life can say, "I'm proud of you," and you take it fully and without any sort of resentment or dismissal? Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. My ex just said the same thing to me yesterday and it just didnt sound right to me. On Wednesday, a Proud Boy leader, Joseph . 2. You will even fall in love with me again seeing the next surprise! Required fields are marked *. Later, I saw her in a restaurant and apologized for balling her out in public. Powered by WordPress. When we avoid the phrase Im proud of you, we allow our children to be their own person, to grow to their own potential - in a relationship of mutual respect. My husband just said it to me a couple of days ago (for a little achievement I just made in my physique) and it made me happy as well. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. Who are children then living their life for - themselves, or their parent? The Proud Boys . "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? I very quickly responded with a snappy, Why? He said because you were up last night with the baby, and went to work, and youre still cleaning this late at night. Um What a shock that I am hardly sleeping, cleaning constantly, working again, taking care of two babies, doing his laundry/dishes/cooking It really rubbed me the wrong way that he was proud of me. Living with a parents disapproval, or continually seeking a parents approval, is a life-long burden. Thats what I think. Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. Posted articles do not constitute advice or recommendations. He may not have expected you to be qualified for the job. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. . Proud Boys chairman Enrique Tarrio poses with a Proud Boys member at a rally in Delta Park in Portland, Oregon, on September 26, 2020. But, it can also be a bit overwhelming because it puts the spotlight on us and can make us feel exposed. How Do I Tell Him I Like Him The Best Method (Proven), What Does It Mean When She Calls You Daddy, Im so glad that youre proud of me. This is when his feelings go deeper than the surface, and he genuinely cares about you as a person. by Carolyn Steber. 1. I'm so proud of your painting!" Show your appreciation for their words and use your response to create a positive and constructive environment. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. But who are you to affirm? I would almost join FB in order to make the comment, Why are you proud and impressed? 3. 3. And now, that you have the other responses to I am proud of you, you can share the same based on whos saying this and after which event. Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. I felt great to know he as proud of me, especially after he had read my term report cards in high school. "I know how you feel". Thats something for a parent to say or a parental figurebut only occasionally. That is why a long-term mentor can also feel pride. 4. I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. Can't you do something different?" One of the most common phrases they use to express their feelings is Im proud of you. I believe you. Get your facts straight. Your partner is really happy about the achievement that you have made in your life or career. Since first publishing this piece, I've spent many years thinking about, and discussing, why children might like to hear their parents say "I'm proud of you". I don't think you . 1. You're not necessarily the expert. You could feel annoyed and put out. Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling. When someone insults you, the first thing you want to do is take a pause and a deep breath. Well, that truly makes my day. God knew just what we needed when He gave us you. Lets look at some examples (followed by some suggested alternatives) adult first, then child, to help illustrate this point: Manager: "Im proud of the report youve written". What someone else does might make me proud to be his or her friend/teacher/partner/whatever and thats exactly how Ill express it Im proud to be your fill-in-the-blank. ( Or even what youve done makes me proud to call myself your ____). You must be so proud of how you're doing!"). At the same time, the paper stated that "a key is to ensure that children feel positively connected to their parents and family," and that parents needed to demonstrate to their children that "they cared about them", that they "had their back". (My answer might surprise you. ), belonging to my close friend, on her business page. I am very proud of you too; we all are. I'm so proud of your painting!" In most situation expresses negative connotations, such as "He is very ", which means he is over proud of himself (). A good friend of mine, who has had a tough life, has just written and published her first book. In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. If you're an ex-smoker, you can draw from your own experience of quitting. John decides to replicate his painting (for the reward of praise, not for his own sense of improvement and competence), and looks up at his mother with rapturous expectation. If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. When someone tells you that they are proud of you, not only are they impressed by something you did and who you are, but they also want others to know it. But, what would be the better ways to respond to I am proud of you other than just saying thank you. But, the real credit goes to you and you only! 3. What are we trying to say or do, when we innocently, and with the best of intentions, praise our children with "Im proud of you"? The same trope appears in many childrens movies (Babe, Mulan)is there anything more important to a child than their parents love and approval? Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. The rest were manual labourers. 3. You should always be proud of who you are imo, and if that includes your nationality then that's fine. But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. Later in life, after having been to university, but not knowing what I really wanted to major in and which degree I wanted to get (prepped for teaching career, but not convinced it was the right career for me), I stopped my studies and took a good union job, which at least paid some bills and gave me teh good feelign of earning money. Here I would say something like, Youre so talented!/Thats brilliant! And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? Then there's emotional attraction. Anyone could tell how proud he is to be with you by the giant grin that's plastered on his face when you two are together. I agree with you: its sad that he did what my parents should have done. Here are some examples of ways you can respond to Im proud of you: These responses will show your appreciation for their words and will help to strengthen your relationship. "I know you have a lot going on . Also, theyre proud of you, when you do something like your family has been doing or you did something way greater or different than anyone in your family so far. This can help to create stronger relationships and can help to create a positive and constructive environment. I have always struggled with this word. Look him in the eyes and smile. If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. Did I do anything extraordinary? 5. Towards Net Zero. . You are using an out of date browser. "Be proud of your scars. But to be proud of them? Thanks to you, as well for being such a caring and supportive partner. Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? I still think she was doing this at the time. I dont think there is a neutral position. Saying, Im proud of you, is a great word and its an expression from the heart. Embrace Pride There are positive reasons to listen when someone says they are proud of you. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. "You make me so mad.". What does it mean when someone tells you that they are proud of you? They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude has many benefits. Never downplay the way you feel about someone's abilities and effort. My boys are all each others fan club and its marvelous. They can be in dictionaries but over time can have slightly different meanings depending how they are used. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. Now whether its romantic or a deep friendship is a different question. "I had no idea". And, you are the best thing ever to happen to me. Without you, I couldnt do it. [Chorus] They say redemption's on your mind when you think about . I have always seen it as, Ive been there, done that, and think you have done it too.. Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? 2. Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). Linda Adams, in her book Be Your Best, quotes Charleszetta Waddles (African American activist): You cant give people pride, but you can provide the kind of understanding that makes people look to their inner strengths and find their own sense of pride. But, why does the response "me too" sound natural in response to "I am glad to meet you". We are probably trying to encourage our children, and even instil in them a sense of pride in their own achievements. If a parent can say, Im proud of you, then can the parent also say the opposite , Children may become dependent on their parents (and others, such as teachers or grandparents) evaluation of their achievements. I dont care that I had to hear it from a video-taped personage. Pause, take a deep breath, and remember who you really are. You reject that person's generosity. The Psychology of Bragging. Try these new and funny excuses to ask for money from your parents or your family. They mean the exact opposite of what you think. For many of us, hearing this phrase is like a warm hug. Dont just thank them, you can reply with some cute responses to let them know that youre proud the same as they are. For doing what Im supposed to do? 24. If you're a friend, it's friendly. ), Seven Thoughts to Help You Parent Peacefully, Hints on Maintaining a Harmonious Household. . I have a one year old boy and a two month old boy, and I had my first day back at work yesterday. When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration and respect for you and that can be a powerful thing. He's proud of you. Overall, its reserved for people who you trust and respect. We all have people in our lives who make us feel special, appreciated, and respected. Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? Maybe instead of telling me hes proud of me, like its such a surprise, maybe he should have just offered to do the dishes. I guess its an odd word and I stay away from it because I know how sensitive I am to it. (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) "If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people-their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties-someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is . People Who Say These 5 Words Have Very Low Emotional Intelligence. Ive had multiple people tell me theyre proud of me like my parents, grandparents, elders but it just doesnt mean anything to me, I dont have any emotional response from any of them and my response ends up being ok or yup. Your email address will not be published. Here are seven possible ways to interpret his compliment. Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. "I'm proud of you" is often associated with mentor-mentee relationships, something that a teacher or parent might say. He remembers things that you tell him. 3. I do not believe that parents need to say "I'm proud of you" to show their support of, and their emotional connection to, their child. Pause before responding. But is that really very useful? And if one doesnt respect ones parent, what is the reaction to such a statement? JavaScript is disabled. Oh, youre one of my trusted supporters! thats a case of someone doing one-upmanship. Your email address will not be published. I think I instinctively recognized that the balance of power had somehow been upset, but couldnt put my finger on it. Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. This will show your appreciation for their support and will help to strengthen your relationship. Thank you for always being such a supportive partner. I know you and I haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. I teach high school. As in, he's purely attracted to your appearance. Fascinating post in two regards. But what exactly does this phrase mean and how should you respond to it? Let them know you think it's great they're considering quitting and that you're ready to help. If you teach someone maths and they pass their exam same thing they are good because they have taken notice of your teaching. It may be a taunt from them to do something unusual. When my parents tell me that they are proud of me, I generally take it to mean that they recognize something I have done on my own merit as being worthy of praise. 9. This "mental timeout" gives you the space to process the insulting remark in light of what it was; someone's thoughtlessness or an attack meant to provoke a reaction. Although its worth taking a mental note of that in case a pattern does develop. Someone else's pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. But worse, my friend thanked them. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! Private face-to-face sessions and course not available at this point. 1. Instead of acting out of rage over . Id opt for saying, Im happy for you. Ah. If its a long-term relationship, the mentor will genuinely care. Thanks. Your friend wants to say "I am proud of you too, my friend". Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. 8. Ive been lurching between How can you be proud of someone elses children? but then challenging that with But then as we do both have a close relationship with her we probably have had some influence on how shes turning out . the person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not about me, and by saying that is drawing the recognition away from me towards themselves. The parent might have paid a lot of money, or given up time, to coach and practice tennis with their winning child. I do find it odd to say "I'm proud of you for doing the dishes". Whatever influence we had on the person, or information we gave the person, what they did with it is their accomplishment not ours. We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! He gets a "that's nice". And guess what? Kids also like to know that they invoke parental prideas long as it genuine! Reading the Parent Effectiveness Training book, or attending a PET course, will help develop positive and respectful parent-child relationships, and explore alternatives to praise. Great to hear this. If parents don't 'approve' of their child, then they disapprove. But I believe that spouses say it, and siblings. Want to Change the Way you React to Your Children? Totally the sort of thing that deserves a fist to the nose. Praise does not help bring up children who have an internal belief in themselves, of self-worth. Wondering where that may be coming from. Updated 7th September 2016; and 19th April 2019. 12. Sometimes a simple change of scenery might help you to stop thinking negative thoughts. But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. No, I am more proud of you, too. It's a pleasure to congratulate you on this lovely moment. I like what Chris Yeh said about the (phrase/declaration), Im proud of you, I also told her I had a great time & that she picks up my spirits. Thank you., Im honored that youre proud of me. I am certain that he would be very proud of you, and he would be proud of your decision to reset your life with rehab. Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. Because of this, it might feel awkward to say "I'm proud of you" to a friend or colleague, even if you mean it. Thats my life goal. Bless me that I keep doing bigger things than this. By accepting the compliment and reflecting on your qualities, you may feel more satisfied in life. I thought who gave you the superiority, you seem to be giving yourself for my accomplishment My friend didnt understand. When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration, respect, and gratitude for something you have done. Also, I really like the litmus test of how you would feel on the receiving end. Youre my friend, not my parents! What do they perceive - when a parent (or teacher) says "Im proud of you"? Children whose parents constantly say "I'm proud of you" may grow to be adults who rely on other people's opinion of them for validation. Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom. And that's how I arrived at the "I'm Proud of You" litmus test. Grandparents And Grandchildren: Observations From A Parent In-Between. An FBI witness says that members of the far-right Proud Boys had hoped to assassinate Vice President Mike Pence and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi during last week's violent storming of the U.S . So, the next time someone says Im proud of you, remember to take the time to think about how you want to respond. I have a little brother who is rather insecure and jealous of me, a very controlling person that thinks having a relationship with each other means that I put up with him trying to make me feel less than in the power scheme, which is precisely why I totally avoid him My YOUNGER brother about my creative talents has to say..I am extremely proud of you..for a bit, this has thrown me off, and I was not able to quite articulate how this really got under my skin, why I did a search on the phrase and have been thinking about itand yeah, it does seem a major insult when an emotionally uncool person whose relationship with you should be on equal terms has to act like a parent, always making a show of being the bigger man saying boy, I am so proud of you. When you respond to someones words of admiration with gratitude, youre showing that you value and respect them. The truth here is, different people say and hear different things in the expression Im proud of you.. Simply thanking them or hugging them is an immediate reaction to it. You are happy they are an ambassador for you. Do you think if they didn't mean it they would say it? 5. Its more potent because they have seen struggles in their life, and within that perspective, they still acknowledge the effort I have put into the achievement as deserving of recognition. Is it a parent speaking to a child, for instance, or a friend to a friend? Its all because of blessings and good wishes, I could do it. Granted that in many relationships, Im proud of you would strike a patronizing or otherwise false note. 2. It is arrogant. I am here for the same reason. After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. Paul urged his young companion Timothy to be "a worker who does not need to be ashamed" (2 Timothy 2:15). My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. "I'm so proud of you" In this sentence, "proud" being translated to is absolutely right, and is also OK.
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